operation harelip BJ is a go
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
