no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
