question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Watching her eat just hurts me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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