So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
