I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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