dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
