Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
