why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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