I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
