i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
