remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
