ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You can't special order awesome
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
