It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
if only i could text you this smell
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Pants are for mortals
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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