My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
