Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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