seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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