Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
