For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
