can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
