I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
