Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
