you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
