Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
