My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
