Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
it's like heaven, but drunker
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
