I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
