At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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