His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
