erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
