Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
