oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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