he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
