counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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