So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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