Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
