don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i out mim tonsoeep
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