You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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