Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
im holly from the hills drunk
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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