Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
