can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
