Non-Jews are for practice
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
