Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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