I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
