I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
