there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
