he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
