she was so not down for the gang bang
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
