My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
