I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
