the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
