alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
