I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
