So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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