If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Randomize
